Guest post by Stuart Mullins
This weekend was the first time Jay’s message sank in with me. He has talked for years about he was a shy, skinny fat, D student kid that had giant failures. And that he got to where he is today by implementing certain daily habits, reading, and then practicing what he learned.
It wasn’t until I watched him in person that I really got it.
Yes, Jay is a larger than life character. He has command and presence. At a table full of guys, the waitress talks to him first. People naturally fall behind him when walking down the street. He appears fearless and his performance onstage with the improv comedy team was flawless.
But Jay is also human. He worries that he will say and do the right thing. He frets over his own weaknesses. He suffers aches and pains and has trouble sleeping.
And though I didn’t necessarily see it this weekend, he has bad ideas and fuck ups too. So why does Jay command a room the way he does?
Why do people assume he is the leader of the group?
It’s because he works at it. He is constantly aware of how he looks and acts. Most of us just go through the day unaware of how we present ourselves to others. We are unaware that we aren’t smiling or that we are slumping in our chair. We are unaware that we are looking at the floor while we talk to people.
Yesterday, I began practicing these habits. I talked to everyone I could. Called people by name. Made comments to them. Looked them in the eye. Sometimes it was awkward. Other times it was easier than I thought.
Later in the day, I stopped thinking about it for a while. When I got home. I realized I spent 30 minutes with a sales girl at the cell phone store and didn’t know her name or know if I had smiled while talking to her. I fell back into my old habit. It happens easily. Learning to be aware and present is a skill. It takes practice. That’s why meditation is so important. I have done it two days in a row now, and I intend to do it tomorrow.
I’ve learned a thing or two about how to develop habits from the bad ones I made. No one intends to drink daily for 2 years without a break. You always think I will just have one now and promise not to drink again tomorrow. Then you do the same the next day.
Good habits work the same way. Just take care of today. Don’t even think about the next month or year.
Renegade Live was a unique opportunity. It seems weird to say this about guys that I have spent so little real time with, but I have genuine love for each and every man that attended the event. I care deeply what happens to them. It’s a personal connection that can only happen in a special community like the RSC.
I’ve gone to conferences and went home excited. Then days later, I fell back into routine and never executed the ideas.
That won’t happen because I have twelve guys to ensure it doesn’t. They all have me.
***
An Update From Stuart After Being Back Home For a Few Days
I had a great sales meeting this week. I was more confident than I have ever been. I held my head up. I smiled at everyone I met. I asked questions. I think we will land the project.
I sat down with my boss after the meeting and laid out everything I have been doing at work and asked him what else I needed to do to get to the next level. The next day, he went to our CEO and VP of Ops and requested a promotion for me. It hasn’t been approved yet, but it will happen.
It seems so simple. It’s crazy I didn’t do it before. But I had some things I needed to work through and overcome. That’s what the weekend did for me.
To register for the next Breakthrough Live event on May 29th & 30th click HERE.
