If you ask any of my closest friends I’d guess they’d tell you I’m a super nice guy.
Genuine, present, making people laugh and feel good.
Always there when they need me. Always able to offer some valuable insight or feedback to whatever problem they are having.
Always able to make a connection or two, since I know a lot of cool, successful people.
I focus on others and always come with a giving hand, looking to add value.
But I’m also relentless in pursuit of the things I want.
You might even say ruthless. Like MC Ren. (If you know who that is without googling it I love you).
Not in a dick kind of way. But in a focused as fuck, unapologetic, nothing-can-stop-me kind of way.
And that’s where so many people fail. They want to be loved by everyone. They want to always be the nice guy. They don’t understand the balance. They don’t know how to walk the line.
It’s not a case of being Mr. Rogers or Mr. T. You can take the best of both.
You can be REALLY nice and still dominate every obstacle in front of you.
You can also be generous with your time. A great listener, giving, empathetic.
You can make everyone feel special.
You can stop and give people compliments all day long. Help the old lady cross the street. Hold the door, pull out the chair, pick up the check.
That’s the way to live.
What you can’t do is give your power away to everyone you meet. And I see people do that all the time.
Self depreciating humor instead of self deprecating. Letting others make all the decisions. Asking for too many opinions. Allowing yourself to be strong armed into something you don’t want to do.
Saying “yes” to everything and everyone.
Because you’re scared to say “no.”
Scared to let people down. Scared they won’t like you. They’ll say you’re an asshole. Or worse, you’ll become that successful person you knew in your past who everyone hated.
And it’s all in your own head and based on insecurity, not reality.
You can’t be meek.
You can’t let people walk all over you.
And you can’t think that being a strong, relentless, goal-achieving winner makes you a bad person.
The cliche, “nice guys finish last,” only applies to people who actually aren’t genuinely nice guys.
Think about that for a second. Because if you get it your mind should explode.
People who are overly concerned with people thinking they are “nice” usually aren’t genuinely great people.
And they’re often not doing things out of the goodness of their own hearts.
They’re incredibly selfish, insecure guys who are obsessed with keeping their egos un-bruised. They have multiple self-protection mechanisms in place that hold them back in every way imaginable. They only do nice things so that people won’t say or think bad things about them. Then they let the resentment and bitterness boil up until they explode.
Terrible way to live.
When you finally decide to embrace your killer instinct, and stop apologizing you’ll find that people will actually like you more. They’ll respect your honesty and decisiveness.
You’ll be happier and less stressed and anxiety ridden.
You’ll finally be able to achieve everything you ever wanted.
And instead of people seeing you as meek and soft, you’ll finally get what you want…
People saying, “that dude’s nice as fuck.”
Because you’re real.
And offer no apologies.