Goodbye, My Friend
“We got the results back from the doctor today. It’s pancreatic cancer. There’s no cure… It’s terminal.”
My heart stopped and tears welled up in my eyes.
Even though he and my mom never decided to make it official and tie the knot, he was, for all intents and purposes, my step dad. That’s what we referred to him as, and Edward Liebman was the greatest father figure I had ever known.
“Whattaya mean? Are they sure?!” I asked as cold sweat started to roll down my back.
“Yes.”
I couldn’t speak and began to weep like a baby. I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the stomach and I dropped to one knee.
“Now, look, this doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere anytime soon. I’m gonna fight this thing ‘til the end,” he told me.
I struggled to compose myself enough to get a few words out.
“I know you will. And I know I don’t have to say this now because it’s not going to be goodbye anytime soon, but I just wanted to say how much I love you. I hope you know that. And I want to thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart. No one has ever done more for me and I can never possibly repay you. But you have to promise me that you’ll stay around long enough to give me a chance to try.”
“I will” he assured me as his voice cracked and he started to cry. “And everything I did was out of love. I love you guys so much. And we’re gonna have a lot more fun times together. The doctors are gonna get me healthy enough to stay around for another year or two, or maybe even more. I won’t be around forever but I promise you I won’t be going away any time soon.”
That was the end of May, 2009. Ed passed away this Sunday, August 23rd, only three months after that phone call and two days after his 63rd birthday. It was the only promise I had ever known him to break and one that no one could ever blame him for. He was one of the greatest people I ever knew and by far the most generous. If Ed loved you there was no favor too great and nothing he wouldn’t do for you.
I only wish I could have done more for him.
In and out of the hospital and rehab all summer, Ed never got to enjoy another healthy, pain free day again. And it broke my heart. When I wasn’t with him I was working ‘til the wee hours of the night so that I’d be able to afford to take Ed anywhere he wanted when he got better. It was the only way I could get motivated to work at all. I had plans of taking an extended leave whenever he got better and doing all that I could to help him enjoy the time he had left.
But we never got the chance. Instead we sat together in his hospital room and watched sports and talked about him getting back home. It seemed a horrible way to spend a summer, but I’d give anything this morning to be able do drive back to that hospital and sit with him all day, watching SportsCenter on repeat, cracking jokes and keeping him motivated to fight.
Born and raised in Philadelphia, Ed was a diehard Eagles fan; something that didn’t go over too well in a household where we bleed Giants blue. But we always had fun with it, constantly chiding each other throughout every football season. And we kept it up ‘til the end as I joked about Michael Vick being a perfect fit for the city of Philly while he remarked about what a fine, upstanding citizen ex-Giant, Plaxico Buress was.
With each passing season I grew to hate the Eagles less and less, only because I loved Ed so much and knew how happy it made him when they won. Even though it’s sacrilegious for a Giants fan to say, I will be secretly rooting for the Eagles this year in every game they play that doesn’t affect the G-Men. And if Big Blue falters I will be behind the Eagles to go all the way… for Ed.
When the doctors told Ed that it was over last Thursday and that there was nothing else that could be done to save him he finally accepted it. We had been told that before but Ed continued to battle back and seemingly prove them wrong. But this time was different. They knew, he knew it, we all knew it.
He was no longer nervous or scared bur rather calm and composed. He apologized to everyone for letting us down and told us he fought as hard as he could. But we assured him that he never let anyone down.
He had a long talk with his son Justin who had been flying back and forth from California all summer, and they each got one last chance to say everything that they had never said to each other and iron out whatever issues they may have had. I was so happy for the both of them and knew how much that meant to Ed.
He then told my mom how much he loved her and had one last meaningful conversation with her.
A few minutes later Ed sat up and asked, “Where’s Jenny?” My future wife ran over while he extended his hand and told her, “I love you. I’m just so sorry I don’t have more time to spend in your life. You guys take care of each other.”
When he reached out for me I was broken down in tears and unable to speak. He grabbed my hand and hugged me and told me he loved me. I told him I loved him too and thanked him for everything. There was so much more I wanted to say but I couldn’t get the words out.
Ed went to sleep shortly afterwards and we never got the chance to speak again.
On Tuesday we brought Ed back home to Philly and buried him beside his parents. It was the worst day of my life.
There are no words that can begin to describe the sadness I feel right now, struggling to come to grips with the fact that someone who meant so much to me is really gone. It doesn’t seem real or fair and I’d give anything to make this pain go away and to bring Ed back. He was the first person I called for advice and the one who was constantly looking out for me and helping me in any way he could. He didn’t have to do that and I knew it. It’s just the way he was. He never placed himself first in any equation. Ed only thought of others and how he could help them or make them happy.
When I found a new space for my gym at the beginning of 2009 Ed was the first one I brought over to take a look at it and get an opinion from. He told me he loved it and that was all I needed to hear.
He was always there when I needed him.
I will forever regret not being able to compose myself enough to say more to him during our final conversation, but if somewhere, some way he can hear me now this is what I would tell him…
Ed,
No matter how hard I try I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is real; that you’re really gone. We had so much left to do. There were so many places I wanted to take you and so much I wanted to do for you. You were supposed to dance with Jen at our wedding and play with our kids. The fact that none of that will ever happen is devastating to me.
We had a lot of good times, my friend, and I will miss them more than you know. I’ll miss our nights out in New York, pre football Sunday brunch at my house, movie nights, family dinners, and watching Entourage every Sunday together. I’ll miss the trips we took to the beach and the mountains. I’ll miss our secret handshake. I’ll miss the way you said “dee” instead of day (Mondee instead of Monday). I’ll miss you always being all over me about taking better care of my money and I’ll miss rushing into your office on April 14th to get my taxes done at the last minute every year.
I’ll miss your smile and your laugh and your constant barrage of corny jokes. I’ll miss always having a buddy who shared my need for quick service in a restaurant and snapped in kind when we went too long without eating. And I’ll miss your priceless reactions to comical situations.
I’ll miss celebrating Jewish holidays with you and every one of our birthdays together, our strategically planned eating schedule on Thanksgiving, putting up Christmas lights while reciting lines from “Christmas Vacation” and the frustration and hilarity that always ensued when at least one strand of lights would burn out every year. Come New Years I’ll miss seeing your text messages or picking up your phone calls at midnight.
I’ll miss the way you proudly revealed your new Eagles t-shirt every season followed by me reminding you of your favorite teams Super Bowl history. I’ll miss watching games with you and texting you during them when we weren’t together.
I’ll miss seeing you walk in the door and sit down in your favorite seat and the way it always took you ten minutes to say goodbye because you kept thinking of something else to say.
I’ll think of you and miss you every day for the rest of my life. Things will never be the same without you. No matter what I am doing or where I am going I will always wish you were there and that if you weren’t I could at least call to tell you about it.
If I could do it all over again I would have hugged you and told you I loved you more often. I hope that I always made you proud and never let you down or disappointed you in any way. And if I did, I’m sorry. Please know that it was never my intention.
I can never thank you enough for all you did for me and the impact you had on my life. It meant the world to me to have you around for as long as I did. I will cherish each and every one of the memories you left me with and will never, ever forget them.
So goodbye for now. Hopefully somewhere, some way we will be together again and it will be just like old times, watching the Eagles/ Giants games, laughing, joking and smiling.
As I continue my life without you I can only hope that I can be half as a good a man as you were and that I will make you proud in all that I do. I know you’ll be there watching over me and continuing to guide me like you always have.
Thanks for everything. I’ll miss you more than you could ever imagine and will never forget you.
Until we meet again, rest in peace my friend.
I love you.
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Comments on Goodbye, My Friend
Jay, I’m sorry to hear than man, sounds like he was one hell of a guy
hey bro, i’m gonna drive up next week and check up on you dude.
Been too long since we chilled, and too long since you taught me how to spit, swear and unleash the anger, and I’ll teach you how to be cool, no worries, i won’t tell anyone
I’ve missed out on a lot of “times” in my life due to 1 thing or another, and I’ve been on a SERIOUS path to change that.
The more life happens the more I realize there are VERY important things that need to be done, and checking on you and chilling is one of the things on top of my list bruddah.
Be cool, see you next week.
Anything you need in between then, hit me up!
–Z–
If my stepson has those things to say about me when it’s my time, Jason…I will die a happy man, as I’m sure your stepdad did. You were both obviously very fortunate to have each other in your lives. Stay Strong..
Jay, I am so sorry to hear about your loss of a loved one. As Doug stated, I’m sure he was a happy man, and a great deal of why was due to your love, affection, and respect for him. I can GREATLY sympathize with how you are feeling right now as I just lost my best friend, the person I told EVERYTHING to and would always go to for ANYTHING to a car accident just weeks ago.. I now know that EVERYTHING I do is motivated by her and I put in that much more effort due to the impact she had on my life. I am very VERY sorry for your loss, Jason. You, your family, and your step dad are in my thoughts in prayers. May he rest in peace.
Stay strong,
your friend and follower (in terms of the advice you’ve given),
Deven
Jason, what a wonderful eulogy, it broke my heart all over again. I’m sure Ed knew how much you both thought of him, and I’m sure he thought just as much if not more of you and Jared, and more recently Jen.
Just as his funeral card says, because of all the love he gave, and all the love we all had for him, he will always live with us in our hearts forever.
Talk to you soon
xxx
Jason,
My heart goes out to you bro! My Pops and I didn’t always have the best relationship over the years but we joined forces to start my bootcamp biz and open my gym in March. Hearing you say these things makes me proud to know my Pops has the faith in me to be a huge success. I am now his retirement plan…but more importantly it has brought he and I together again.
Keep your head up bro! Everyday Ed is looking down on you! He will always be by your side!
Stay strong, my friend,
Tyler
Jason,
I’m sorry to heat about your loss. Take care of yourself and your loved ones.
for what it’s worth, remember that it’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.
May he rest in peace,
//M
Jay,
Sorry, my condolences, hang in there, all those sayings don’t do it justice. I know Ed meant a lot to you and my thoughts are with you and him now. Thanks for sharing this with everyone. I am sure Ed is smiling right now and proud that you had the courage to write such a beautiful piece about his life and impact on you. He is also secretly viewing the Wildcat Offense and drooling at the thought of Michael Vick tearing up the field…but that is another story.
Be well my man and hang on to the good times and memories forever. I am sure Ed will still guide you in the years to come.
Jay,
That’s sad to hear fella – my thoughts go out to yourself and your family.
Losing family members is the worst thing that can happen; but I always find comfort in the thoughts of them now being in a better place, being away from the pain in this life.
Look after yourself.
Russ.
Jay,
I just wanted to pass on my sincerest condolences to you and your family. What you are going through is a very difficult and emotional time. Know that you have a lot of love and support from all your friends and ‘strangers’.
Your write up was so touching and just shows how great a man/step-dad Ed was to you.
Give yourself time to heal….Keep strong and find peace in the memories you have of him, these will be with you forever!
Jason;
We care about what you say and listen very carefully. That’s why, the time you took here made a difference in reminding us about our humanity and the supreme importance of our relationships.
Edward, your family, and you are in my thoughts.
R.I.P.
Jason, so sorry to hear about such sad news. I’m not the most religous of people but something tells me that we’ll all meet up again…sometime, somewhere.
Your forthcomingness about this story says a lot about who you are.
And this story WILL be the catalyst to me finally losing weight. I needed a story like yours to put me on the track to healthy living.
“I know I was born and I know that I”ll die. But the in-between is mine.”
-Pearl Jam
I am sorry to hear about your loss Jason. Take comfort in knowing that Ed loved you greatly and thought the absolute world of you. He would be extremly proud of what you have accomplished and the person that you have become.
Stay strong mate
Jason,
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I think now would be a good time to let you know about the way you’ve helped me since I’ve started following your advice. A year ago I was depressed and unmotivated. I had suffered an injury from my days as a wrestler that had finally proven too much for my budding MMA career. I had packed on a bunch of unhealthy weight and had no energy. With the help of your guidance, I have turned my life around. I am happy again. I know for a fact that you have done the same for others. Thats the kind of man you are and your stepfather passed on knowing you were that man. Thats why I know for a fact he was proud of you.
Stay Strong,
Zach
I’m sorry for your loss, I’ll add in with all these people, that the work you do means as much to people as your stepfather did for you. Through MGS, I now see difficult days as merely a challenge to overcome, a challenge I will overcome. I see everybody out there with their excuses and reasons that they’ll never have any success, I’ll never be one of them, because of you. thanks man. Best of Wishes to you and your family and friends that are grieving your stepfather’s loss.
Jay,
My most sincere condolences to you and your family. I couldn’t think of a more fitting way to immortalize the life of your step dad. Even in the most trying moments of your life, you continue to teach us the importance of love, life, and family.
Thank you for having the strength and courage to share this with us.
Andrew
Vancouver, Canada
Jason, so sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like your stepdad was a real great guy. May he rest in peace.
J,
This brought tears to my eyes brother. My heart goes out to you and the fam.
AJ
Jay,
So sorry for your loss. Reading your memories of your stepdad shows the wonderful memories that he created with you and the awesome person that he was. You will probably always be thinking about him when things trigger your memory. I do the same when I think about my grandparents that are gone. But even when I have a moment of sadness, I smile when I think about how proud they would be as they see every new accomplishment that I make. Be strong and take to heart that he is never really gone. He’s only watching from the sidelines now.
Tracy
Jay,
My deepest thoughts go out to you and your family in this time.
Ed was a hell of a man, as you were a hell of a step son. There is no doubt you both made a huge positive impact on each others lives.
Stay strong in these hard times.
Sounds like he was your hero Jason, a real life hero.I am so sorry for you my friend.It is so hard when we feel helpless to do anything . All yhe muscle in the world can’t stop our hearts from aching.Lord I pray break my bones but not my heart. It might sound selfish but your story of your father has inspired me to be a better one.Face the grief friend don’t try to bury it. Take care.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family. I am truly sorry to hear this has happened. Stay strong.
Jason, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my biological dad when I was 12, but I was fortunate to have a father in my life too — my grandfather. He was my best friend and taught me so much. All the things you said about your stepdad, I could say about my grandad. My entire life has been a challenge to make him proud of me.
You’re a good son. He knows that. Whenever you get down about your loss, think about all the cool things you WERE ABLE to do with him. That’s what got me through my loss, and does to this day. You’ll never get rid of the pain, but you’ll learn how to channel it. A part of him is in you. He’ll make you stronger.
You said some really great things. Your words certainly made me think harder about how important family and friends are — and how insignificant nearly everything else it.
Hey Jay,
Sorry to hear about your loss.It takes guts to write a post like that one and just shows how much he meant to you.You did the right thing spending all that time with him in the hospital.
I had a very similar experience with my own father.Planning stuff but never got the chance either and instead spent the time in the hospital with him but it was time that i would never regret spending with him.Live on just like Ed would want you to.That way you keep his memory alive more than anything else.
Feel free to email me if you ever need to.Sorry again to hear of your loss.
Jay, you’re the man – touching article, hang in there, have a safe trip out West – take lots of pics my man.
Joey
Jay-
So sorry man, My condolences & prayers are with you and your family.
Jason-
I wish I had words that could easy some of your pain.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Dear Jay-
I’ve always read your articles and updates with great pleasure and appreciation but have never been inclined to comment. However, today I must. I just lost my father 6 weeks ago after a long battle with terminal liver cancer. I watched the disease take a towering, powerful man (who did two tours of Vietnam under !st Marine Recon)of 250lbs to 135lbs. As you know it is a painful thing to witness. The disease took him at a young 64yrs of age. It stole from me the moments of him walking me down the aisle or meeting my children; however, what the disease did give me was time…time to make peace…time to find gratitude for the man he was…time to find the greatest father within him…and forgiveness for the times when he was unable be the father I needed. Look back on those amazing times when he told you how much he loved you, when he shared stories…confided in you….laughed with you and your mother. He sounded like such an honorable man…so it is in these times you honor him. And live in gratitude for the moments…because much like his spirit…the moments are with you forever.
Much love to you and yours,
H
Jason,
I know exactly your feeling , as we know I lost my best friend. Words alone can not express my feeling for Ed, you and the family. All we can do is remember his time here was one that will always be remembered. As the saying goes if you can live your life and leave a mark upon your passing , you have found the reason you were put here. Ed did all that and then some. I to will miss him razzing me about The Boys. If you need me ever just call. Any time
Your Cuz,
Dave
Coach,
You and your family are in our prayers.
Jason,
I lost my mother to Leukemia last August and understand your feelings to a great degree. I’m sure Ed appreciated your friendship and comfort tremendously through those last days.
My condolences and best wishes to you and your family.
Steve T
MGS customer
I’m so sorry bro.. My condolences to you and your family.. From what you say, Ed was a great personality.. Let’s hope it lives on.. Take care dude..
Jay, take it one day at a time man, as sad and unfortunate as the situation is, it’s a part of the circle of life, and everybody’s is shaped slightly different, that is part of what makes us as individuals “unique,” as the saying goes, everybody has their “fight,” this just was his, it is beyond admirable how he exemplified bravery within himself knowing death is merely a step around the corner, yet he still was at complete peace & solitude within himself and the people surrounding him. Everybody has their time, but good things never last forever. I wish you & your loved ones strength during your time of mourning.
God Bless,
Juan Torres
Hi Jason,
I wish you and your family all the best.
Thank you for moving us with your story.
Al
Jay – I sense that you are a spiritual guy.
Rejoice for Ed, for he no longer carries the burden of “the flesh”… your friend in now FREE!
He joins all of the great warriors who continue to support us from the unknown.
Have peace.
-Elliott
Hey J – My deepest sympathy for you and your family. His inspiration will continue to guide you.
Sincerely,
Jack
Thank you all so much for the kind words.
Suzanne,
Thanks a lot. It won’t be the same anymore when you guys come to visit.
Tyler,
That’s great to hear. Thanks
Mark,
You know I love the Pearl Jam quote.
Zach,
Thank you. I’m glad I could help. Keep up the good work.
Jim,
So glad to hear that you were inspired by this.
Bill,
It definitely reminds you what’s important in life.
Bill Lawlor,
Thank you. You are 100% right. I am going to do my best to do that.
Heather,
Thank you very much. And I am very sorry to hear of your loss as well.
Dave,
I hear ya. We will be in touch soon.
Steve T,
Thanks. And I’m sorry to hear about your mom.
Elliot,
Very true, my friend.
Hey Jason you don’t know me, but I’ve sent you a couple of emails. Needless to say i am a huge fan of your training aaproach and knowledge. Thaat being said, I was always led to believe that real men don’t cry. When we cry as young bys we are taught to be tough and not cry. As i got older i realized that that is why God gave us the ability to shead tears. He wants us to cry when we are sad It helps to purge the soul. Real men do cry, and when I read the post on Ed. That made me an even bigger fan. I lost my Uncle 3years ago to prostate cancer, and we shared the kind of relationship as you and Ed. I know first hand what it feels like to loose someone like that, and i wanted to let you know that Ed will always be walking with you because you made himeapart of your heart. So as long as you breathe Ed is right there withq you. You can cry as of ten as you want, it is a sign of your strength. You are the ultimate testiment of what he ment to you by the man that you have become. Even though i don’t know you personally, I get a sense that you like to help people.. Be strong bro and cry and smile whever you think of Ed. He would be proud of you. Eric
Thoughts are with you buddy. There’s nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. Prayers are with you.
Eric,
Thank you very much for taking the time to write that.
Jason,
I do not know you other than the blogs, great book, advice and articles in magazines. After reading this I know you’re a stand-up guy. A champion of the human race. Ed must have molded you well. I too lost my own father due to cancer, 9 yrs next month. He and I had a similar relationship. Best friends more so than father / son. We did everything together. All I can tell you is that time does heal the pain. And,,,,the GREAT memories are with you EVERY day.
Take care and God bless.
Jason,
I am so sorry for your loss..that journey is never easy to take..know that my thoughts & prayers are with you.
I will don my own Eagles t shirt in honor of your stepdad this Sunday.
Sallie Moore
Jay,
I’m SO sorry for your loss. Tears started to well up as soon as I began reading the above, and still haven’t made it past the half way mark in fear that I’ll be sobbing uncontrollably while sitting at my desk at work. Tough girls DO cry, however, unsure that will go over well while explaining to HR. Your article hit extremely close to home as I am currently in the midst of watching a very close relative in the final round of the exact fight. If there is a heaven, it eases my pain slightly knowing that amazing people like Ed will be there to welcome my uncle with open arms. Would love to say more but those tears are coming back with a vengeance.
I’ve only been around a handful of times but I sincerely mean it when i say, if you Jen or your family need anything I’m right down the street.
Hang in there! My thoughts are with you.
Rosanne
Thanks for sharing your heart and soul–you have stimulated quite note in this community–the beautiful sentiments and kind words are a true testiment to the this bond we all share called love–it is one of my greatest pleasures to be reminded of some of the best of the best–peter
So sorry to hear of your loss. May God comfort your hearts and heal your hurts. Hold the memories of your stepfather close to your heart and lean on the ones who love you during this difficult time. Prayers to you and the rest of your family.
Carol – Houston, Texas
Hey man. I’m sincerely sorry for your loss. And you do not need or have to apologize for your lack of communication or anything else.
I wish well to you and your family.
Ibrahime
I am saddened to hear about your loss Jason.
I wish you and your family health and happiness as you continue to celebrate life…
Stay strong man.
Jason . you have been very helpful to me with you newsletter & advice on exercise. I look foward to reading your words and insights. Thank you. My heart goes out to you. I too lost my dad to cancer 21 years ago. I still kiss him every day. The main difference is a lot of the emptiness has been healed, and I now remember the good times I had with my dad. I believe that Ed as well as my dad are still with us, not just as in a “cliche” but real. They both have just walked into another room that we cannot follow….. yet! so still talk to him and use the endearing and familiar names and words that you both always used together.May Our Lord bless you and your family, and Ed is there with Him now, waiting for you guys. Tony
Dearest Jason
oh! Its sad! Am so sorry. May you have the strength to bear and heal this pain alongwith with your family and everybody who knew Ed. I just heard enough from you to make me love this great guy. May God bless his soul and may God bless you and your family.
Love
Shobha
Jason,
I am sorry to hear about your loss, it sounds like you lost a very special person. Try and focus on the great times you had together.
Take care of youself and your Mother.
Mike
Dear Jason,
I am sorry to hear your loss, please accept my condolence on your beloved, Edward. I belived he is having long sweet sleep. The limitation of my English cannot support me to comfort your sorrow and make you feel better. Please take care of yourself and give my regards to your mother.
Peace to his soul
Alex
Hey Jason,
You don’t know who I am, and you probably won’t ever get the chance to read this. Regardless of those facts I still wanted to say that losses like these are more than people care to handle, and you’re a strong individual for displaying your feelings so openly. Whether you said what you had to or didn’t trust me the bond you share with someone as close as Ed can’t be expressed in words. I never forgave myself for not telling my grandfather how much I loved him before he passed, but later I realized there is no need for “final words.” People will remain in your heart throughout your life and beyond and vice-versa. He is smiling down on everybody whether you believe it or not. It won’t be easy to cope with this loss, but you will be a better individual because of it. You’re training methods re-vamped my collegiate football career, so I felt this was the least I could do for you.
Relentless is a state of being not just a word, and you know that better than anybody.
Stay Blessed,
Kyle Leslie
Jason- very sorry for your loss. Even in loss you are eloquent, I’m sure Ed appreciates your thoughts. Don’t regret, instead remember.
Michael
i sorry about you lost bro .and god bless you familia and v strong
Jason, your tribute to Ed is beautiful and obviously deeply heartfelt. You’ve touched everyone who has read it.
Please don’t hold on to any regrets for words not spoken near the end of a beautiful life.
Instead bask in memories of all the happiness you enjoyed together. How blessed you both were, to have such a deep friendship!
It is clear to Ed that you loved him. All the great moments and experiences you had together are enduring testaments of that love, that bond. Rejoice in that.
Hey Jason, I know this was posted a while ago so you may not even see this comment, but I just came across this article. I feel for you man, I lost my dad to leukemia just over 11 years ago (I was 15 at the time). He had coached all my sports teams, as well as my brother’s, in addition to working and travelling a shitload. Anybody who knew him would tell you I am damn near the same person. And to be honest, I still don’t know that I’ve come to grips with him being gone, even now, 11 years later. But I’m glad you got to tell your stepdad how you feel. I hope you have been able to cope and deal with your loss. I’m not real religious, so I don’t really pray, but my thoughts go out to you man.
Jason,
Well done. What an brilliant tribute to a truly Full Strength man!
As I read your words, having lost my father in an all too familiar fashion, a few weeks after his 62nd b-day, I find myself thinking how Ed must have cherished having such a great man as you in his life.
What a powerful reminder that life is anything but fair, that every moment counts, that the only thing you really ever leave is your impact on those near you. So many lessons, so little time.
Thank you for sharing so boldly. I’m inspired and awake–which is what it’s all about. Now, as I sit here on a Sunday morning with my son and daughter, enjoying a cup of coffee and we build pillow forts (yeah, they’re still very young), I am reminded that it’s time to get off this machine and get back to the moment, to life.
Interesting, it was a year after my father’s passing that I was able to first share my thoughts… I share that post here. Not as rich or vibrant as yours in many ways, but certainly familiar…
http://www.fullstrengthlife.com/a-very-strange-year/
One thing I’ve come to know for sure in the years since my loss is that we never really lose them. We lose elements we cherish but the person Ed was to you lives inside you, clearly, and he’s always there to guide and support. You’ll feel it in amazing new ways every day.
To Your Life @ Full Strength,
Shawn
Tat was so beautiful, made me cry. I don’t know you or Ed but you obviously loved him and he obviously was an amazing man! So sorry for your loss and will be praying for you and the whole family. That was an amazing eulogy for an amazing man. From one to another! Sending you love,
Thank you all so much for the kind words. I really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Live well and he can live through you. I don’t believe for a second that anyone really is gone, they’ve just moved on to bigger and better things.
Well said, heart felt, and timeless — I share you grief as I lost my dad about three years ago to cancer. I also wish that I had the composure and strength to say more to him during his final days — just couldn’t get all the words out. I always thought we had more time and then suddenly he was gone. Your thoughts and emotions will affect others and perhaps they will come closer to realizing a more lasting inner peace and closure with a loved one during their final days. Thanks for sharing yourself.