The Poor Man’s Evel Knievel

“Dude, I broke my fucking shoulder again.” I said, referring to the torn rotator cuff I have been rehabbing after surgery that resulted in me losing almost all size and strength after a very long layoff from the gym.

He’s heard this from me plenty of times before so it was no shocker.

“What’d you do now?”

“Went way too heavy on log clean and presses, which I know, are not the smartest exercise to be doing right now, but I can’t hold back anymore.

Anyway, that was about two weeks ago. So I lightened my weights on upper body days and did higher reps. But I kept pulling and squatting heavy.

My shoulder was feeling a little better last squat workout so I moved my grip in a little. Then I did it again tonight on 20 rep squats.

Big mistake.

I can barely pick up my water bottle. I’m really stupid and really pissed right now.”

“You’ll be fine. We’ll get you through it,” he reassured me.

Keith Scott has been helping me with this type of stuff since the day I met him a few years back. I only wish our meeting came many years earlier. Although, maybe there would have been no saving a knucklehead like me from injuring myself. It’s just something I do…

It all started in middle school when I got my first taste of riding ATV’s (ATC’s at the time), dirt bikes, skate boarding and whatever other risky behavior I could get into.

In 5th grade we thought it was a good idea to see who could jump off of Ed Hawkins roof and stick the landing. Advanced plyos at their most extreme. I don’t need to tell you that it didn’t go so well. Apparently I wasn’t quite ready for depth jumps and altitude landings just yet.

Then there was the time we decided to build some super high powered swing at Kenny Casale’s house and try to jump off at peak height and clear some fence. This resulted in another trip to the ER and about a dozen stitches.

And the time in Scotland when I was again on a roof for some reason, and fell off backwards, right down on to a picket fence that miraculously did not impale me. But merely resulted in a quick hospital visit and some pain killers.

I can’t count the number of times I fell off my dirt bike in mid air or flipped an ATC on top of myself while racing on a course and trying to get that bitch as high in the air as possible.

Then there was the time when we were out bouldering and at the end of the day decided it was a good idea to climb a 30 foot face with no ropes. I got to the top and there was nothing to pull up on. I mean nothing. Not a single thing to grab except weeds. How did I not know that before scaling up it? I don’t have a clue.

Anyway, I hung on at the top of the face for close to thirty minutes while my cousin tried to help me get back down. But it was no use. The final step I took to get to the top was a doozy and there was no reversing my tracks. He eventually ran up the back of the rock and tried to pull me up from the top. But he had nothing to hold on to and my strength was almost gone. As he was running back down to the bottom my grip really started to give. There was nothing left. A huge pointed rock was down below waiting for me. I told him I was gone and to hurry the fuck up. He broke out into a full sprint and just as my grip gave out and I started to fall to my eminent death or paralysis he dove at me in mid air and tackled me out of the way of the huge boulder. We rolled down another twenty feet to the edge of a cliff where we were stopped by a huge tree stump.

Another stupid decision…

Then there was the time at Stowe Mountain in Vermont where I decided to go all Picabo Street and try and set a new world record jump while skiing uncontrollably fast on a trail that was probably a little above my skill level. The disastrous crash resulted in a couple of blown discs and took me from six feet tall to about 5’7” for a week or two.

Water sports have been no easier on my body and anybody who has routinely hit the water at 60mph can tell you that it’s harder than concrete. Get me behind a boat on wakeboard, kneeboard, tube or whatever and I will surely attempt some kind of flip, jump or 360 that will usually result in a new scar… or at least a wrenched neck.

The three broken ankles, separated shoulder, herniated disks in my neck, broken arms, fingers, toes and other injuries I sustained while playing sports like basketball and football were the only ones that weren’t entirely my fault and based on my own hankering for a good risk taking adventure.

There were plenty more but I don’t want to bore you more than I already have.

The thing is, I will still continue to do those types of things, although hopefully not to the extremes that I used to. But it’s fun. It’s something I love to do.

I mean, without risking death from time to time, how can you know you’re really alive?

What I would like to do is eliminate the stupid, self inflicted injuries in the gym. I have gotten waaaaaay better at this over the last few years. But I still have a switch I flip when I train that is not easily turned off. This often results in poor judgment and calling for weights that are too heavy that particular day. What can I say? I am every bit the numbnuts that I appear to be.

As I have said before, this is fun for me. I love working my ass off and challenging myself and my training partners. But it’s not the smartest way to train. Your progress will often be slower and you will probably get hurt.

I have often advised that you do as I say and not as I do in this instance. Train hard but train smart. Always live to fight another day. If you are a moron like me in the gym, try to have a partner around who can keep you in check.

If you can’t do it yourself or can’t find someone to do it for you the next best thing would be to do what I do. Call on my buddy and injury expert, Keith Scott.

If you’re going to get hurt, Keith can get you healthy again. And he can keep you healthy.

I have him on speed dial and he always helps me out by giving me one of the plug-ins from his Unbreakable system. After a few days I’m back in the gym ready to do battle again.

Without the help he has given me over the last few years I would be in some serious trouble. A lifetime of injuries and stupid decisions will probably lead to me being need to be rebuilt like the Bionic Man one day. But until then I will do what Keith says and try to make smarter decisions in the gym.

If you’re beat up like me, I highly suggest enlisting Keith’s help to day by clicking HERE now.

Please leave your comments below.

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