Random Thoughts 2

Random Thoughts

It’s been a while since I’ve done a random thoughts post. From now on I will try to do them more frequently just because there is no off switch on my brain and I think about a lot of really wacked out stuff.

- Why wouldn’t homeless guys in New York walk south or even to the west coast for the winter? If you have nothing but time on your hands who cares how long it takes? You could be chillin by the beach instead of in a box on 53^rd and 2^nd. Makes no sense to me.

- Why can’t people figure out how to open and close a door at night when others in the house are sleeping? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you twist the handle all the way and pull the door until it quietly hits the stop, then slowly turn the handle back into place; instead of just pulling it straight closed without manipulating the handle, which then wakes everyone within earshot because in the dead silence of 4am that sounds like a gun going off.

- And why can’t people figure out how to unlock a door at night? Before you twist the handle to unlock the bathroom door you simply stick your thumb in the push button lock so that it doesn’t pop out loudly and again wake the entire house up. These are simple things, people…

- Girls don’t like to feel like they’re being disrespected even if it means their life. Let’s say you’re with your girl and you’re getting chased by an axe murder in a scene out of a horror film. She starts crying softly and you quickly snap in a whisper, “Shut up, he’s gonna hear us!” You can then expect her to immediately raise her voice several levels and shout, “DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO SHUT UP!?” “Why, yes I did and now we’re dead because of it. Thanks.”

- I can’t stand when people don’t acknowledge those who are serving them in a restaurant, pumping their gas, etc. If you’re having a conversation and the waiter comes over, stop, say hello and engage them. When you ask them for something say please and when they refill your water say “thanks.” It’s not that hard. That type of thing irritates me.

- If you make eye contact with someone out in public you should say hello to them. This simple act would make the world a much better place. And name tags. We should all wear name tags. Like Elaine suggested to Lloyd Braun who suggested it to Mayor Dinkins.

- Just no kissing. I’m not into kissing. Bro hugs, yes. Kissing, no. It’s weird, I’ll hug guys all day but can’t really get into the kissing the girls on the cheek thing. I’d rather give them a pound and a hug but then I guess your right hand would end up smack dab in the middle of their titties. So that wouldn’t work for a lot of them. But then if you just give them a straight hug they have their breasts all smashed up against you and your genitals would be in closer contact which in a way could become kind of sexual. I don’t know. It’s all very weird and confusing to me.

- No one likes a complainer. If someone asks what’s new and how you’ve been act like you just won the lottery even if you just lost your job and got diagnosed with a terminal illness. Complaining often or having a negative attitude is a fast way to lose friends and achieve very little success in life.

- I guess the tradeoff for a slightly decreased testosterone level that comes with age is an increase in productivity since you don’t have to waste as many hours figuring out how you’re going to get laid.

fn -If you are going to listen to hip hop you should at least own a copy of It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. It’s only right.

- How sad is it that kids don’t go out and play anymore? There were no “play dates” when we were growing up. We just hit the streets and ran until mom called us in for dinner. Now you have 11 year olds spending three hours a day joining bullshit groups on FaceBook. So incredibly sad.

- I remember when nobody listened to hip hop and then it became mainstream. I felt like I was way ahead of the curve since I was down from the beginning. And when pro wrestling became the biggest thing on the planet during the late 90’s I was excited because I had been watching obsessively for years and was at WrestleMania I. Nowadays, it’s big asses. All of the sudden everyone wants a big ass and is obsessed with big asses. Once again, I feel like I was ahead of the curve because I’ve been telling everybody that for years! I was all about big asses long before big asses were cool, god damn it!

Got anything to add? Any random thoughts you’d like to share? Please do so in the comments section below.