- I always found it funny that there are books, movies, lectures, etc. about what women want, when one simple word can describe what men want– blowjobs. That’s it. Preferably sloppy. We’re easy. You heard the Mel Gibson tapes. That’s all he wanted. And when he didn’t get one he was none to pleased.

- Why wouldn’t homeless guys in New York walk south or even to the west coast for the winter? If you have nothing but time on your hands who cares how long it takes? You could be chillin by the beach instead of in a box on 53^rd and 2^nd. Makes no sense to me.

- Why can’t people figure out how to open and close a door at night when others in the house are sleeping? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you twist the handle all the way and pull the door until it quietly hits the stop, then slowly turn the handle back into place; instead of just pulling it straight closed without manipulating the handle, which then wakes everyone within earshot because in the dead silence of 4am that sounds like a gun going off.

- And why can’t people figure out how to unlock a door at night? Before you twist the handle to unlock the bathroom door you simply stick your thumb in the push button lock so that it doesn’t pop out loudly and again wake the entire house up. These are simple things, people…

- Girls don’t like to feel like they’re being disrespected even if it means their life. Let’s say you’re with your girl and you’re getting chased by an axe murder in a scene out of a horror film. She starts crying softly and you quickly snap in a whisper, “Shut up, he’s gonna hear us!” You can then expect her to immediately raise her voice several levels and shout, “DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO SHUT UP!?” “Why, yes I did and now we’re dead because of it. Thanks.”

- I can’t stand when people don’t acknowledge those who are serving them in a restaurant, pumping their gas, etc. If you’re having a conversation and the waiter comes over, stop, say hello and engage them. When you ask them for something say please and when they refill your water say “thanks.” It’s not that hard. That type of thing irritates me.

- Why is that when you are forced to shit in the worst public toilets it’s always a 50 wiper keeping you in there for an inordinate amount of time?

- If you make eye contact with someone out in public you should say hello to them. This simple act would make the world a much better place. And name tags. We should all wear name tags. Like Elaine suggested to Lloyd Braun who suggested it to Mayor Dinkins.

- Just no kissing. I’m not into kissing. Bro hugs, yes. Kissing, no. It’s weird, I’ll hug guys all day but can’t really get into the kissing the girls on the cheek thing. I’d rather give them a pound and a hug but then I guess your right hand would end up smack dab in the middle of their titties. So that wouldn’t work for a lot of them. But then if you just give them a straight hug they have their breasts all smashed up against you and your genitals would be in closer contact which in a way could become kind of sexual. I don’t know. It’s all very weird and confusing to me.

- No one likes a complainer. If someone asks what’s new and how you’ve been act like you just won the lottery even if you just lost your job and got diagnosed with a terminal illness. Complaining often or having a negative attitude is a fast way to lose friends and achieve very little success in life.

- I guess the tradeoff for a slightly decreased testosterone level that comes with age is an increase in productivity since you don’t have to waste as many hours of the day pounding pud anymore.

- But how much fun was that when it was brand new? I mean experimenting with new lubes, fake vaginas, real dolls…Not that I would know or anything.

- If you are going to listen to hip hop you should at least own a copy of It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. It’s only right.

- How sad is it that kids don’t go out and play anymore? There were no “play dates” when we were growing up. We just hit the streets and ran until mom called us in for dinner. Now you have 11 year olds spending three hours a day joining bullshit groups on FaceBook. So incredibly sad.

- I remember when nobody listened to hip hop and then it became mainstream. I felt like I was way ahead of the curve since I was down from the beginning. And when pro wrestling became the biggest thing on the planet during the late 90’s I was excited because I had been watching obsessively for years and was at WrestleMania I. Nowadays, it’s big asses. All of the sudden everyone wants a big ass and is obsessed with big asses. Once again, I feel like I was ahead of the curve because I’ve been telling everybody that for years! I was all about big asses long before big asses were cool, god damn it!

- You’ve never really experienced a stressful situation until you’ve lost your erection and had a condom slip off during sex and then tried to fish it out without the girl noticing.

- Why can’t your wang be the same size on a regular basis? It was always my luck that I hooked up with the hottest girls during one of those light switch sized phases.

- Nothing worse than catching a BJ and noticing that the girls hand looks like she’s having high tea with the queen.

- I’m always surprised that females continue to read this site. Especially after posts like this one.

Got anything to add? Any random thoughts you’d like to share? Please do so in the comments section below.

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2. My Thoughts on A-Rod and Bonds
3. Tell Me What YOU Want

Since then I’ve met with a few clients, had dinner a few times with Chad Waterbury, met up with Valerie Waters another night, Dr. Chris Mohr and his wife Kara another and we spent last night with Tyler and Rob English who were in town for the Perform Better. On Saturday night we ventured up to the Hollywood area (man do I hate the 405) to watch the UFC at my friend Laura Prepon’s house where I had the pleasure of getting massaged during the fights, by her sister, Dani who I grew up with. Massage, food and UFC all at once. It was the trifecta that George Costanza would have killed for.

Dani is an awesome massage therapist with an in depth knowledge of the human body so even during a night of watching the fights I was still able to talk shop and trade ideas; which I always love doing. I’m definitely going to meet up with her again to get some more work done while I’m in town since I’ve grown accustomed to my weekly massages back home which have made a huge difference in my recovery.

On Monday I was at Muscle Beach in Venice, overseeing a photo shoot for a workout I wrote for Men’s Fitness. We were there for over four hours, during which time a short dude in blue briefs trained quads. Just quads. When I was leaving he was getting started on hamstrings with the lying leg curl. So by my guesstimation, if he was still planning on training calves, he was looking at a six and half to seven hour leg workout. Sounds awesome.

Aside from that we’ve been training at a variety of gyms (the best of which has been Iron) and at the original Muscle Beach in Santa Monica where they have climbing ropes, rings, dip bars, etc. We’ve also been running sprints on the beach, walking several miles per day and swimming in the ice cold Pacific (although I haven’t gotten on a board yet, but that will change this week). The lifestyle out here is incredibly active and fitness oriented and there are more healthy restaurants than anywhere I’ve ever been. Juliano’s Planet Raw (which, as the name implies, is all raw food) is definitely my favorite but there are countless other great options and tons of places that offer local, organic produce, grass fed meat and free range poultry.

There’s even one place just down the street from us that shows every single Yankees and Giants game. Our first time in there was kinda funny because we had been stopping in several places along Main Street where everyone was incredibly nice and super friendly. When we got to the Giants/Yanks spot it was the first time we encountered anyone with an attitude since we’d landed. Turns out it was the owner who was from Jersey. I laughed. He loosened up when he found out we were from Jersey as well. But he still had the attitude, and I felt somewhat comforted by that familiar feeling of a guy giving you the “go fuck yourself” look while he talks to you about A-Rod’s 600^th home run. Feels like home.

Santa Monica also has the best farmers market I’ve ever seen, which we’ve been stocking up at every few days.

Of all the places I’ve been this is definitely the place I would like living in the most and have been wanting to move out here for years.

For the rest of our trip I have a couple more meetings booked and some opportunities to look into, and we’ll be connecting a few times with my buddies Robert Dos Remedios and Alwyn Cosgrove to exchange some training ideas and have quite a few laughs, I’m sure.

One thing I have been blessed to have in my life is a good number of friends with the most incredible, keen, quick witted senses of humor. Cosgrove is one. I chalk that up to his being Scottish like my mom.  Mike DeSanti, Todd Coker and Mike Schwalb are three of the other funniest people I know and they are all coming out to visit over the next few weeks. So there will be a ton of hilarity to come. And in case it needs turned up a notch I made a visit to the doc for my card only legal here in the wild, wild, west. I have a “chronic” condition that requires it.

So aside from a few more meetings and some training sessions with clients, I’m gonna chill as much as possible and enjoy my vacation time here.

I spent all of last summer in a hospital room with my step dad, Ed, watching him die and losing part of myself in the process. From that experience and also watching Cosgrove fight through Stage IV cancer several times I’ve learned enough to know when to relax and enjoy life. I know that working 24 hours a day like I used to isn’t healthy and isn’t worth it. As clichéd as it is, you never really know when your time is up.

I had dinner with a very motivated young entrepreneur recently and was almost overwhelmed by his intensity and passion. He reminded me of myself five years ago. I’ve mellowed out substantially since then and have been enjoying life even more. Of course, last summers experience was life changing but there have been other moments along the way as well.

When I read Tim Ferris’s book, The 4 Hour Work Week, something really hit home. Tim said to figure out exactly what your ideal lifestyle is; what you want your life to be like. For example- what kind of car do you want to drive, where do you want to live, what do you want to do on a daily basis, how many vacations do you want to take, etc. Then figure out how much money that will take. It’s usually less than you think. In your case it could be $75,000 a year. Or it could be $450,000 a year. We’re all different. But whatever it is, set that number as your goal. Then do whatever it takes to make that amount of money, but not necessarily much more than that. Too many people just work for works sake. There’s no goal. With training or sports there’s always a goal. But if your ideal lifestyle requires only $200k a year why are you working overtime to make $220? It’s something worth stopping to think about. Tim explains it better than I can so I recommend reading the book.

The point is it got my head in the right place and made me reassess what’s important in life. I’ll always be relentless and will outwork anyone to get what I want, but I won’t let it control my life and I won’t work just for works sake. I know what I want in life and what it will take to get there. When I set goals I always achieve them. But I don’t just work for more money anymore. That’s not a healthy way to live.

Well, I gotta wrap this update up and get over to the gym for some deadlifts. And then maybe cancel my flight home

Renegade West, perhaps…

Related posts:

1. Goodbye, My Friend
2. The Value Of Information
3. Hopes & Wishes

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Fat Gripz- These little suckers instantly turn any standard bar or dumbbell into a fat bar. This increases your grip strength and stimulates arm growth beyond what a normal bar or dumbbell can. They easily slip on an off and are made of extremely high quality, heavy duty rubber which is hard as a rock and doesn’t wear out or compress. These would make a great stocking stuffer for the meathead on your list.

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Sun Warrior Protein- While a bottle of wine or Scotch might make dealing with the in-laws a little easier, a bottle of Sun Warrior will help you build size and strength and recover from workouts faster. And like Uncle Eddie said, “That’s the gift that keeps on giving.” Sun Warrior is made from all natural 100% organic ingredients, is a complete protein with a great biological value, mixes easily, doesn’t cause any of the digestive problems or allergies associated with when and milk based proteins,  and tastes great.

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High Powered Blender- To mix up the Sun Warrior with some frozen berries, bananas, nuts, cacao nibs and whatever else you can think of you are going to need a high powered blender. This always makes for a good gift for the busy, fitness conscious crowd who likes to blend up their nutrition once or twice a day. Personally, I always start my morning with a big, nutrient dense shake and would be lost without my blender.

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Vibram Five Fingers- These are by far and away the best shoes to train in as they allow you to simultaneously strengthen your toes and feet with the rest of your body. This often leads to fewer ankle, knee, hip and lower back issues. The Vibrams are also great for sprinting, hiking and walking. Best given to those who are not slaves to fashion, as you may get some funny looks and annoying comments while wearing them. The benefits make it all worth it, though.

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Head Harness- As I’ve said several times before, nobody should walk around with a stack of dimes holding up their head. Do everyone on your list a huge favor and get them a head harness. Owning one should be mandatory for all males. It will protect you from injury both physical and emotional. Use this 3-6 times per week for 1-3 sets of 15-50 reps.  Make it part of your routine. Like brushing your teeth and putting on your shoes.

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Power Wheel- This is definitely one of the best ab training tools on the market and would make an awesome gift for the athlete or meathead on your list. If anyone you know is still asking for one of those silly ab rockers or whatever other gimmicks they sell on late night infomercials, I suggest you do them a favor and surprise them with something that actually works the abs properly.

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Captains of Crush Grippers- These make a great stocking stuffer and forge a killer grip, which is a huge benefit for all lifters and athletes. A strong grip is like a big neck; it’s mandatory, commands respect and greatly increases your status as a man.

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Holosync Meditation CD’s- Meditation has been around forever and isn’t some gimmick that will be going away any time soon. It’s proven and it works. I can’t say enough about the benefits of the Holosync Meditation program. I have been using it for nearly two years now and it has made a huge difference in my life. I’m happier, calmer and more productive. I also sleep better. All these benefits can be seen in only 30-60 minutes per day. Last year I gave out quite a few of these for Christmas and will be doing the same again this year.

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The Prowler- Nothing will kick your ass and whip you into shape faster than the Prowler. We use it daily at Renegade Gym and I guarantee that any fitness enthusiast or strength coach would love to find one of these waiting for them under the tree. There’s still time to get one shipped. Tell Dave and Jim I sent you. You may also want to get a bucket to go with the Prowler in case the dreaded Prowler Flu sets in. Which is always a strong possibility…

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Kettlebell- If you know someone who trains at home or outside on their own, a kettlbell would be a great addition to their workouts and would make for an awesome gift. Males could start with somewhere between a 35 and a 53 pound kettlebell (depending on their size and strength) and females could start with an 18 or a 26.  Instead of jogging or riding a stationary bike try swinging a kettlebell for sixty seconds alternated with sixty seconds of jump rope for ten minutes straight.

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GymBoss Interval Timer- This is a great way to time your rest periods during strength training or conditioning and makes a cool little stocking stuffer for all the fitness enthusiasts on your list.
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The Rotater- This is a cool little tool that was sent to me recently which is great for shoulder rehab and prehab. Anyone you know with shoulder problems could benefit from incorporating some work on the Rotater into their regular program.
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Stainless Steel Food Containers & Water Bottles- The dangers of plastic are widely known by now. Do everyone you know a favor and help them eliminate man boobs and other estrogen related issues by picking them up some stainless steel containers or water bottles.
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Bands- High tension bands can be used for dozens of productive exercises such as pushdowns, face pulls, pull aparts, assisted chin ups, pulldown abs, side bends, ankle walks, resisted pushups, resisted sprints and many others. They make a great addition to any home gym and are an effective weapon in every powerlifters arsenal (for adding to squats, deads and bench presses).
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Elbow & Knee Sleeves- These are great for keeping your elbows and knees warm during training. Not of as much benefit to young, healthy guys, but for the older, more beat up crowd these can be a big help in avoiding injuries and will keep you feeling good (and safe) throughout your workouts.
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Superfood Snacks- Foods like goji berries, cacao nibs and maca are all known as superfoods and have tremendous health benefits. Before you thinking about stuffing a stocking with junk food, I highly recommend you pick up a few bags of these tasty treats.

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Sandbags- Sandbags are a phenomenal strength and conditioning tool that make a great addition to any training program. If you think you’re in shape, just try doing a high rep set of heavy sandbag shouldering. Talk to me afterwards. Any hard training athlete or meathead on your list would be thrilled to find one of these waiting for him under the tree.

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Jump Rope- We have still yet to develop a conditioning method more effective than jumping rope. Not only does jumping rope burn fat and improve your conditioning but it also works wonders for foot speed and coordination. Your ankles and calves will also get a great strengthening workout from jumping rope which will help prevent injury. It worked for Ali and it will work for your mom, brother or goomah.

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Renegade Barbell Club & Renegade Gym T-Shirts- These bad boys will make an impression wherever you go. The RBC skull in plate logo is a hardcore original. The Renegade Gym t-shirt has an old school Arthur Saxon inspired silhouette  depicting the way real men used to train before the world was over run with metrosexuals and pretty boy fitness centers. Available in black only.

Happy Holidays.

Please leave your comments below.

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So he likes to sleep with hot chicks apparently. Join the club. Who doesn’t? And who cares? If you started liking Tiger Woods for any other reason than you grew up together it was most likely because of his ability to hit a golf ball. And that’s what he should be judged for. You can’t like him any less now or it would be hypocritical. I personally never liked him that much because, A) I hate golf and B) I always thought he came across horribly in interviews, had zero personality, was a little smug, and just not my kinda guy.

To be that good at something means you have to be somewhat selfish. And that’s not a bad thing; it’s just how it is. Tiger is no different than Michael Jordan. Both were great athletes, both were only interested in themselves, and both were in a position to do a great deal of good for the black community and chose not to.  I’d be more pissed at that than the fact that he was shtooping the waitresses at his favorite restaurant.

Michael Jordan was one of my childhood idols. But did you see his Hall of Fame speech? I cringed throughout the whole thing. I liked him for what he did on the court and always will. Since I’ve grown up a bit between his rookie season and today I realize that he is a bit of a douche off the court. However,  he’s still MJ and the greatest of all time in my eyes.

Next to Walter Payton, Lawrence Taylor was my favorite football player of all time. But talk about a mess of a human being. Even worse than MJ’s hall of fame speech was LT’s interview with Michael Kaye on the YES network a couple months ago. Painful to watch.

Tiger’s the greatest golfer of all time. You knew that. He’s also a d-bag. If you ever watched his interviews with an open mind without being blinded by hero worship, you probably already knew that too.  So what’s the big deal?

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My heart stopped and tears welled up in my eyes.

Even though he and my mom never decided to make it official and tie the knot, he was, for all intents and purposes, my step dad. That’s what we referred to him as, and Edward Liebman was the greatest father figure I had ever known.

“Whattaya mean? Are they sure?!” I asked as cold sweat started to roll down my back.

“Yes.”

I couldn’t speak and began to weep like a baby. I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the stomach and I dropped to one knee.

“Now, look, this doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere anytime soon. I’m gonna fight this thing ‘til the end,” he told me.

I struggled to compose myself enough to get a few words out.

“I know you will. And I know I don’t have to say this now because it’s not going to be goodbye anytime soon, but I just wanted to say how much I love you. I hope you know that. And I want to thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart. No one has ever done more for me and I can never possibly repay you. But you have to promise me that you’ll stay around long enough to give me a chance to try.”

“I will” he assured me as his voice cracked and he started to cry. “And everything I did was out of love. I love you guys so much. And we’re gonna have a lot more fun times together. The doctors are gonna get me healthy enough to stay around for another year or two, or maybe even more. I won’t be around forever but I promise you I won’t be going away any time soon.”

That was the end of May, 2009. Ed passed away this Sunday, August 23rd, only three months after that phone call and two days after his 63rd birthday. It was the only promise I had ever known him to break and one that no one could ever blame him for. He was one of the greatest people I ever knew and by far the most generous. If Ed loved you there was no favor too great and nothing he wouldn’t do for you.

I only wish I could have done more for him.

In and out of the hospital and rehab all summer, Ed never got to enjoy another healthy, pain free day again. And it broke my heart. When I wasn’t with him I was working ‘til the wee hours of the night so that I’d be able to afford to take Ed anywhere he wanted when he got better. It was the only way I could get motivated to work at all. I had plans of taking an extended leave whenever he got better and doing all that I could to help him enjoy the time he had left.

But we never got the chance. Instead we sat together in his hospital room and watched sports and talked about him getting back home. It seemed a horrible way to spend a summer, but I’d give anything this morning to be able do drive back to that hospital and sit with him all day, watching SportsCenter on repeat, cracking jokes and keeping him motivated to fight.

Born and raised in Philadelphia, Ed was a diehard Eagles fan; something that didn’t go over too well in a household where we bleed Giants blue. But we always had fun with it, constantly chiding each other throughout every football season. And we kept it up ‘til the end as I joked about Michael Vick being a perfect fit for the city of Philly while he remarked about what a fine, upstanding citizen ex-Giant, Plaxico Buress was.

With each passing season I grew to hate the Eagles less and less, only because I loved Ed so much and knew how happy it made him when they won. Even though it’s sacrilegious for a Giants fan to say, I will be secretly rooting for the Eagles this year in every game they play that doesn’t affect the G-Men. And if Big Blue falters I will be behind the Eagles to go all the way… for Ed.

When the doctors told Ed that it was over last Thursday and that there was nothing else that could be done to save him he finally accepted it. We had been told that before but Ed continued to battle back and seemingly prove them wrong. But this time was different. They knew, he knew it, we all knew it.

He was no longer nervous or scared bur rather calm and composed. He apologized to everyone for letting us down and told us he fought as hard as he could. But we assured him that he never let anyone down.

He had a long talk with his son Justin who had been flying back and forth from California all summer, and they each got one last chance to say everything that they had never said to each other and iron out whatever issues they may have had. I was so happy for the both of them and knew how much that meant to Ed.

He then told my mom how much he loved her and had one last meaningful conversation with her.

A few minutes later Ed sat up and asked, “Where’s Jenny?” My future wife ran over while he extended his hand and told her, “I love you. I’m just so sorry I don’t have more time to spend in your life. You guys take care of each other.”

When he reached out for me I was broken down in tears and unable to speak. He grabbed my hand and hugged me and told me he loved me. I told him I loved him too and thanked him for everything. There was so much more I wanted to say but I couldn’t get the words out.

Ed went to sleep shortly afterwards and we never got the chance to speak again.

On Tuesday we brought Ed back home to Philly and buried him beside his parents. It was the worst day of my life.

There are no words that can begin to describe the sadness I feel right now, struggling to come to grips with the fact that someone who meant so much to me is really gone. It doesn’t seem real or fair and I’d give anything to make this pain go away and to bring Ed back. He was the first person I called for advice and the one who was constantly looking out for me and helping me in any way he could. He didn’t have to do that and I knew it. It’s just the way he was. He never placed himself first in any equation. Ed only thought of others and how he could help them or make them happy.

When I found a new space for my gym at the beginning of 2009 Ed was the first one I brought over to take a look at it and get an opinion from. He told me he loved it and that was all I needed to hear.

He was always there when I needed him.

I will forever regret not being able to compose myself enough to say more to him during our final conversation, but if somewhere, some way he can hear me now this is what I would tell him…

Ed,
No matter how hard I try I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is real; that you’re really gone. We had so much left to do. There were so many places I wanted to take you and so much I wanted to do for you. You were supposed to dance with Jen at our wedding and play with our kids. The fact that none of that will ever happen is devastating to me.

We had a lot of good times, my friend, and I will miss them more than you know. I’ll miss our nights out in New York, pre football Sunday brunch at my house, movie nights, family dinners, and watching Entourage every Sunday together. I’ll miss the trips we took to the beach and the mountains. I’ll miss our secret handshake. I’ll miss the way you said “dee” instead of day (Mondee instead of Monday). I’ll miss you always being all over me about taking better care of my money and I’ll miss rushing into your office on April 14th to get my taxes done at the last minute every year.

I’ll miss your smile and your laugh and your constant barrage of corny jokes. I’ll miss always having a buddy who shared my need for quick service in a restaurant and snapped in kind when we went too long without eating. And I’ll miss your priceless reactions to comical situations.

I’ll miss celebrating Jewish holidays with you and every one of our birthdays together, our strategically planned eating schedule on Thanksgiving, putting up Christmas lights while reciting lines from “Christmas Vacation” and the frustration and hilarity that always ensued when at least one strand of lights would burn out every year. Come New Years I’ll miss seeing your text messages or picking up your phone calls at midnight.

I’ll miss the way you proudly revealed your new Eagles t-shirt every season followed by me reminding you of your favorite teams Super Bowl history. I’ll miss watching games with you and texting you during them when we weren’t together.

I’ll miss seeing you walk in the door and sit down in your favorite seat and the way it always took you ten minutes to say goodbye because you kept thinking of something else to say.

I’ll think of you and miss you every day for the rest of my life. Things will never be the same without you. No matter what I am doing or where I am going I will always wish you were there and that if you weren’t I could at least call to tell you about it.

If I could do it all over again I would have hugged you and told you I loved you more often. I hope that I always made you proud and never let you down or disappointed you in any way. And if I did, I’m sorry. Please know that it was never my intention.

I can never thank you enough for all you did for me and the impact you had on my life. It meant the world to me to have you around for as long as I did. I will cherish each and every one of the memories you left me with and will never, ever forget them.

So goodbye for now. Hopefully somewhere, some way we will be together again and it will be just like old times, watching the Eagles/ Giants games, laughing, joking and smiling.

As I continue my life without you I can only hope that I can be half as a good a man as you were and that I will make you proud in all that I do. I know you’ll be there watching over me and continuing to guide me like you always have.

Thanks for everything. I’ll miss you more than you could ever imagine and will never forget you.

Until we meet again, rest in peace my friend.

I love you.

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*****

I’ve never met “Big Bad Dave Tate.” I have never even met Dave “Fuckin” Tate. Supposedly this is some terrifying lunatic who would throw you through a wall for squatting less than 800 pounds in his presence or suck the brains from your skull if you looked at him wrong. At least that’s what I have read on the internet.

I only know the Dave Tate who I exchange hilarious daily emails with, trade business and life advice with and on many an occasion, drink a few too many beers with.

On a recent weekend in February, Dave was in Jersey for some business and as usual we got together and had a few drinks and a lot of laughs. He also came to watch me train a group of athletes and told me afterward that he had never seen kids with better form before. This, of course, has nothing to do with the story; it’s just a shameless plug I had to insert because it’s quite a compliment coming from the big man himself.

The morning after Dave and I partied till the wee hours of the night I got a call from him. He was stranded at the airport as the blizzard of ’06 was about to dump two feet of snow on the Tri State Area. Without hesitation I picked Dave up and we headed back to my house.

We were watching the Olympics as the snow came piling down when we decided to do an impromptu interview/ Q&A session. There is no rhyme or reason or flow to the interview, it was just random thoughts tossed back and forth as we sate on the couch drinking beer and eating pizza.

JF: What was the proudest moment of your powerlifting career?

DT: When I won the IPA nationals. I always wanted to win a national competition. Since I was a kid that was all I wanted to do. It was also the first time I squatted 900. It sounds stupid since there are a zillion federations but I still wanted to do it. It was also the first time my total broke into the top 10 for my weight class.

JF: What are your thoughts on mobility work?

DT: The pendulum swinging. You only need to train what’s weak in your athlete. It should be tested, if it’s needed do it, if not keep it out. People don’t have the time to do everything nor do they need to do everything.

It’s more important for the older lifter.

JF: And if people do need mobility and flexibility work you want them doing it in the power rack, right? (sarcastic remark, of course)

DT: Keeep your shit outta my rack. The power rack is the temple of the weight room. It’s made for going heavy. I can live with doing chins but keep your curls and stretching and duck unders the hell outta my power rack. Okay, while this is all said in fun I do feel many have lost sight of what the power rack was intended for.

JF: High frequency training?

DT: It has its place. High frequency training is a method, not a training system. It can be used for bringing up weak points. I’ve used this and recommended it but the volume is controlled though and I’ll use the empirical rule of 60%. Beginners can do it but advanced lifters will overtrain quicker than hell. If some one needs to cut bodyfat, then sure they can do high frequency training. If they need to get bigger and stronger; no way. Turn the dial because you’re on the wrong frequency.

It has its place for specific purposes.

JF: What would you rather do, bi’s and tri’s or squat?

DT: (Thinks long and hard) Squats. Nothing’s better than a good pop off a box.

JF: I know that, much to Cosgrove’s dismay, you love your arm workouts these days, though. Speaking of which how big are those guns?

DT: Over twenty one inches. I needed to get them measured for my bench shirt so that’s how I know that.

JF: Dude, I just saw you measuring them in the kitchen before but whatever you say. How does some one get arms that big?

DT: Train your triceps; tri’s for guys, curls for girls.

JF: Everyone’s gonna want specifics so what should you do exactly?

DT: Board presses, floor presses, bench presses, close grip bench presses, rolling dumbbell extensions. I’ve always been a huge believer in pushdowns for many reasons; they keep the tri’s fresh and drive so much blood in there. They also are good for elbow health. I have always done some kind of press, extension and pushdown for as long as I can remember.

JF: What about bi’s?

DT: I’ve never been a big fan of bicep training even when I was bodybuilding. I always started with something heavy like a barbell curl. Then finished up with whatever I could do to get the most blood in there. If you want big arms make sure to keep hammer curls in there. Cables never did much for bicep development, stick with barbells and dumbbells.

I think if you are training for big arms, direct arm work is a must. If you are doing a lot of pulling and rows already then your biceps work is going to have to be a lot of isolation work.

Unless it’s a bodybuilder, I have never programmed a bicep movement in to a workout.

In the same respect I have never put in a calf exercise or a forearm exercise, and very few quad movements, direct quad movements. Unless it’s a step up, but I don’t know what people consider that to be; I consider it hip dominant.

JF: Well it depends on the height of the box. If it’s a lower box then it’s quad dominant; if it’s a higher box it’s hip dominant.

DT: True. So revisiting movement pattern splits it could be a vertical push since you push your foot straight down into the bench. Which makes me think, what is a leg press, is it a vertical press since I am pushing into the machine? So should I do it on my vertical press day? Well now I’m training legs three days per week.

If a step up is not a vertical push then what is a calf raise?

At least with the body part split you fucking understand, oh I feel it in my back; it must be back. What the hell is a sit up? What day does that go on? What’s a side raise? Is a deadlift a vertical pull or a hip dominant movement? If it goes on vertical pull day now we’re training our legs four times per week. There is also a horizontal leg press as well, what day does that go on? What about a lying leg curl, that’s a vertical pull. So now you are training your legs every single day.

Not only that, but quad dominant is not a movement pattern, last time I checked my biomechanics book.

JF: What about a front raise, bent over rear delt raise, or better yet a reverse crunch; what days do they get trained on?

DT: Exactly.

JF: What’s the most important personality trait a coach or trainer must possess?

DT: Awareness. Going further than listening, you need to be able to understand the personality of the person you are working with. If you are working with some one who is motivated by positive reinforcement you need to be aware of that. If you have some one who responds better to negative reinforcement you need to be aware of that. You need to look at every client or athlete as a puzzle first, person second because you need to figure out what goes where. It is the simple things you need to know how to pick up one.

At a recent seminar while teaching someone how to squat I will tell her to sit back, keep the chest up, knees out and so on. This was not working so I had to look for reasons why this was not sticking and the message was not being received. I pick up on that every time I gave a command this person would look at them selves. If I said knees out she would look at her knees. Right away I knew I was using the wrong cues. This is a very visually oriented person so I change the commands to “picture you knees out” instead of knees out. Now the head stayed up and she used her minds eye to see what she had to do. This fixed the problem right away.

If I would not have picked up on this I may still be there trying to teach her how to squat. This is not rocket science but basic communication skills that are more important than people think. Coaching and Personal Training is nothing more than communicating training to the person you are working with. Everyone spends countless hours on the training aspect but if the message is not passed from one to another then it does not matter what you know.

JF: Let’s switch gears for a second. What’s your favorite movie ever?

DT: Serenity, Any Given Sunday, Scarface.

JF: Favorite band?

DT: Santana, Garth Brooks, all jazz, I like listening to music outside of the gym that has a calming effect because I have a very aggressive personality.

JF: What about your favorite rapper?

DT: Umm, I was into DMX big time for a while but I’m sick of him now. Maybe Jay- Z? No, I think I’d have to go with The Notorious B.I.G.

JF: Favorite song?

DT: Garth Brooks – The Dance. There are others, but it always changes, that’s the one that comes to mind right now and is always on the list.

JF: Recently I saw you fall on the floor in laughter when someone walked into a seminar wearing a wife beater. Have you changed your views on wearing wife beaters in public?

DT: Absolutely not! Unless you’re loaded with tats, no way. Even if you’re jacked, unless you have a ton of tattoos, no way, you can’t do it. You can buy a fucking tank top. I have no problem with tank tops but wife beaters, no way.

****

For more from Dave and to order the greatest strength training equipment in the world please visit, EliteFTS.com.

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Why do so many people think that front squats are somehow magically more “sport specific” than back squats?

When did getting strong get so complicated?

Has anyone who weighs above 180 ever tried to wear an American Apparel t-shirt? Man, is that a funny look. The upper body is skin tight and then it flares out to a giant moo-moo dress at the bottom. Strange..

Is everyone in the fitness industry now a business/ marketing expert?

If you make less than 250k per year can you really be considered a money making authority? What about all the sub 100k earning biz experts? Not good, my friends, not good.

Speaking of business and marketing, if you are one of the presenters at such a conference I probably wouldn’t mention to people on your blog or twitter account that you are driving there or splitting the hotel room with five other guys. That’s not what big time successful people do. If you’re gonna go with “the fake it til ya make it” approach you gotta be on your game at all times, kids.

Has anyone ever done snatch grip deadlifts on a podium?

A podium? Really? Isn’t that what people speak in front of?

Are people really still recommending glutamine as a worthy supplement?

Are people actually still taking glutamine?

Is it me or is Megan Fox really hot?

Does anyone actually like doing split squats?

Is a fauhawk ever acceptable?

What would Mr. T think of such a hairdo?

Why don’t more people have a reverse Mohawk like late, great Road Warrior Hawk? If I could grow one I damn sure would.

Is there anyone with more built up anger than the Iron Sheik? Man, I love that guy.

Are people still recommending 40-70 seconds of time under tension for optimal hypertrophy gains? That’s good comedy right there.

Why does everyone on 24 start every sentence with the word, “Look?”

“Look, Jack Bauer was in trouble and I had to cover for him.”

“Look, I never meant for it to end up like this.”

“Look, if you want my help you’re gonna have to start trusting me.”

“Look, we’re running out of time here!”

Are still people recommending the ole slow tempo scam?

Did anyone ever see Arnold, Yates or Ronnie Coleman perform a 402 tempo? Or a 505?

Did you ever hear the one about how leg curls should be done plantar flexed because doing so lessens the involvement of the gastrocnemius and puts more stress on the hamstrings? Oh man, that is funny stuff. Although you wont think so if you actually do that because your knees will be ruined. But it’s funny to read about.

You know what I find very annoying lately? Cookie monster metal. I got into it for a year or so and then woke up one day and wondered why. Slayer and Static X, yes. The cookie monster just screaming jumbled nonsense, no thanks.

Are trap bar deads really safer than regular deads? Usually, but not always. Depends on the person.

Why would anyone ever want to use a treadmill when there are infinite amounts of earth to cover by foot or by bike?

Why don’t more people meditate? The Holosync Meditation Program has changed my life.

Is it me or deadlifts really, really fun?

Are there two more “sport specific” exercises than running or jumping? People need to do these two things more often and worry less about standing on a wobble board or whatever other scams they use to make exercises more “functional.”

Has anyone ever heard Dane Cook say anything funny?

You know what is funny? White sneakers. Those are funny.

Solid white sneakers are really funny.

Solid white sneakers on a guy… hilarious.

Why has Snoop still not realized that he is nothing without Dr. Dre and that his only good album was released in 1993. Call the good doctor and make something worth listening to. I’m begging you. That’s 16 years of wasted talent.

Please leave your answers, questions and comments below.

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I have gotten a lot of requests for training DVD’s, advanced mass building guides for those who have completed Muscle Gaining Secrets, football specific training manuals, more MMA based stuff, hardcore training manual/DVD for girls, bodyweight only DVD/workout, vegetarian meal plans, business guides documenting how I built a six figure training business by 22 years old and what I have done to successfully grow that business since I started back in 1994 and more.

So my question to you is what do YOU want?

Please take a minute and let me know, first of all, what you want to see more of on the site and what topics you are most interested in, and second of all which of the following items would be of interest to you:

1)    An advanced mass building guide
2)    Hardcore training DVD’s
3)    Football training guide
4)    A guide on how I train athletes in general for explosive power, speed, size, conditioning and strength.
5)    More MMA/ combat sport specific stuff
6)    Vegetarian meal plans
7)    Bodyweight training DVD/workouts
8)    Business related info
9)    Anything else you can think of. Besides, like I said, some locker room time with the soccer girls pictured above…

Thanks a lot guys, I really appreciate this.

Please leave your comments below.

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You fucken anglo saxon piece of white trash shit. Your fucking vitamins and supplements have made whatever is left of your brain soft and mosh. You piece of pathetic English white shit. Your mother and father must have been even more fucken stupid and brainless than you. They were so fucken dumb, they decided to fornicate and have you, as if we needed another rude mother-fuckin retards on this god forsaken planet. May they both rot in hell, where I hope you are headed some time soon.

Take your fucken supplements up your anus you filthy fucken animal.

Nicholas Polyzos
nicholaspolyzos@yahoo.ca

Nicholas, my brain has always been soft and has always liked to mosh. A face like mine is the product of spending way too many hours in a mosh pit as a youth. Thank you very much for reminding me.

I am actually half Scottish, not English. But a very good guess that was though; especially since I have such an Italian last name. Perhaps you saw the lion tattoo and just confused the country. All those United Kingdom fuckers look alike, right? You guessed right on the white part. Although you might think twice about that after seeing me on a dance floor

And do you honestly think that my mom and dad haven’t suffered enough, having to live with me as a son for nearly 35 years, that they need you speaking to them like that? Trust me, it hasn’t been easy dealing with me and I think you should give them a little credit. The years of disappointment I have brought them is more than most people could ever bare. And just wait till I show them my next tattoo….

I know that at least one out of the three of us will rot in hell. Although misery loves company so I am doing my best to drag them down with me.

As for your last suggestion, that is something that I have been doing for years. And I must admit that at first it feels quite good. Eventually, however, it’s like finding a squirter. At first it’s really unique, fun and exciting. Kinda like discovering gold in your back yard. But after having to change the sheets five days a week for a month straight it gets real old, real fast. I am committed, though, because research has proven that supplements taken anally have a 754.678% better absorption rate and I need all the help I can get.

As for the filthy part; you’re right, I could use a shower. Thanks for looking out, buddy.

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See you there.

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